This post is written by Even’s Clinical Psychologist, Poorti Srivastava.
As the countdown towards 2025 comes closer, we at Even, wanted to send a special message to all those celebrating and well, those who are not.
Most of us are expected to be not only “ cheerful and grateful” for this past year- but also celebrate in some way. For many of us, this might feel overwhelming as we may be navigating some complex emotions this time of the year.
It could be grief over the loss of a loved one, a difficult breakup, job loss, health concerns of a family member or simply wanting to keep things low-key. But even for those of us who have perhaps resolved some of these feelings and issues, this time of the year may be fraught with emotional pain. This is because our worst and best memories are often generated in the crucible of celebrations. The intense yearning to relive some past moments can be overwhelming.
A large part of managing this time will be about finding light in the darkness. What the light will represent will depend on the individual.
- For some, it may be a heightened sense of peace and acceptance
- For others it may be finding a balance between sadness and hope for the future
- Yet, for some simply surviving this time largely intact and heaving a sign of welcome relief with its passing
All of these types of light are fine. Just as there is no one way to experience grief or loss- there is no one way to find the light through the holidays.
A large part of finding the light consists in embracing the darkness. What does this mean? First, it means realising in advance that this time will be difficult/different, that there will be feelings of sadness and loss, as well as memories that may be happy, but poignant. Even if those around you are not able to drop their expectation that you will be “appropriately” cheerful, you can change your own expectations for yourself.
Realistic self expectations will go a long way in freeing you from an unnecessary sense of having failed to please those around you. Perhaps ‘happiness’ will return in a few months, a year or two- all you have to do now is acknowledge and accept the feelings that you are having.
Finally, it is often the act of giving that helps to ease the pain experienced at this time. There are many positive ways of giving (such as spending time with lesser privileged people; donating things; feeding the stray etc) which allow you to continue your healing process. And don’t forget that it is also OK to give yourself. Treat yourself to something special-it doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive, it just needs to feel right.
Here are some ideas that you may like to try for this evening.
1. Create a Quiet and Sacred Space
Choose a calm, serene location in your home or outdoors. Dim the lights or light candles to create a soft, reflective ambiance. Incense or essential oils can add a touch of warmth and calm.
2. Reflect on the Year
Set aside time to journal or meditate on the past year. Consider the following:
– What were your most significant moments?
– What lessons did you learn?
– What do you wish to release or leave behind?
You can write these reflections in a notebook or on slips of paper that you can keep as a reminder or ceremonially dispose of later.
3. Acknowledge Losses and Gratitude
Take a moment to honor any losses or challenges you faced and acknowledge how they shaped you. Follow this by listing things you are grateful for, big or small, that brought light into your year.
4. Set Intentions for the Year Ahead
Rather than resolutions, focus on setting meaningful intentions. Write down what you hope to cultivate in the new year—peace, kindness, creativity, or growth.
5. Perform a Release Ritual
If you wrote down what you wish to let go of, consider performing a simple ritual to symbolize release. You might burn the paper in a fire-safe bowl, bury it, or cast it into water.
6. Hold a Moment of Silence
As the clock nears midnight, pause for a moment of silence. Reflect on the transition, the impermanence of time, and the possibilities of the year ahead.
7. Greet the New Year with Mindfulness
When midnight strikes, take a deep breath and mindfully welcome the new year. Toast with a glass of water, tea, or your favorite drink as a symbol of renewal.
8. End with a Calming Activity
Conclude the evening with a peaceful activity such as reading an inspiring book, listening to soothing music, or stargazing if possible. If you need help in coping with your feelings and finding your way through this challenging time, remember, help is just a click away on the Even app. Get in touch with your Even therapist.
